11/11: Leaders value what other people value

I have often heard that managers should understand what those whom they manage value, and use this as a motivational tool. While this is certainly a valid management tool, it is not the perspective of the true leader.

Leaders have a much different level of empathy with the values of those whom they lead. I was taught this lesson well by a co-worker and friend soon after being placed in my first director-level leadership role. I was the leader of a small group of communications professions, mostly writers and media specialists. One individual in this group was serving as my associate director, and I had been his subordinate for several years before he then became mine. And to fuel the volatile situation, the individual and I had a rather contentious relationship long before our roles were reversed.

I was feeling rather pleased with myself, as I had handled the situation well, as had my new subordinate. Within the year, the subordinate decided to retire. I felt that I had fulfilled my professional and organizational responsibility and had no desire to plan or in any way involve myself in a retirement celebration.

This is when my co-worker and friend stepped in. He informed me very quickly that a retirement celebration had NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with those with whom the new retiree had worked. I listened more to his admonition and I realized how right he was.

As a leader, I recognized that it was important for me to value what others value, in this case the significance of the ritual and symbol of retirement recognition over my sense of satisfied responsibility. It is often incumbent upon the leader to set aside what is of value to him and embrace what is of value to others. By valuing what others valued, I was able to honestly, with no sense of hypocrisy, plan and participate in a well-attended and very pleasant retirement celebration. Of infinitely greater significance I learned that, when it comes to what other people value, being a true leader is “all about you and not about me” within, of course, one’s acceptable moral and ethical priorities.

Corollary to this attribute is a subtle difference in a traditional characteristic of management that does not translate well to leadership but does underscore the empathetic motivational style of true leaders. Managers, it is commonly held, get work done through others. Leaders, on the other hand, get work done with others. One technique does not invalidate the other, but each indicates the difference in the role of the manger and the leader. Managers are, and should be, focused on short-term attainment of goals within time and quality guidelines as articulated by leadership. Leaders, on the other hand, are focused on the long-term goals, as well as the cultural health of the organization. Building relationships, and creating a climate conducive to this relationship building, is accomplished through camaraderie (with) not directive (through).